Every special day can be difficult when you’ve suffered a bereavement. We can choose exactly how we celebrate personal anniversaries like birthdays, but we don’t have control over public celebrations and that can be challenging.
Father’s Day can be especially difficult if you’ve lost your dad. Supermarket displays, online promotions and social media posts on the day are a real reminder of their absence. While it feels like everyone else is celebrating, it can be hard to cope if you're grieving.
Nothing can take away the upset of losing your father, but here are some ideas that may help in coping with Father’s Day.
Plan for Father’s Day
Father’s Day in the UK is the third Sunday of June with cards and gifts appearing in shops for three or four weeks beforehand. Remembering that you’re likely to come across Father’s Day displays might make it easier to cope.
Talk to friends and family about how you feel and let them know that you might need a little extra support. Consider organising a group call to bring your loved ones together and talk about how you might mark the day.
Remember your dad
Just because your dad isn’t with you on Father’s Day doesn’t mean you can’t take time to remember him. Talk about him with friends and family. Share stories of the things you did together and the memories you have.
You could get out your family photograph albums and look back on the good times you had. You might toast him with his favourite tipple. Or light a candle in his memory. We offer a free, digital Light a Candle service with our funeral director partners. Keep an eye on our Facebook page for more information.
Make new memories
It’s natural to think back, but it’s okay to look forward too. Plan a trip for Father’s Day. Take your family or some friends to a place that was special to your dad and tell them about him. Or make your dad’s favourite meal and invite people around to share it.
Knowing that you have something planned that puts your dad at the centre of some new Father’s Day’s memories might help make the day easier.
Buy a gift or a card
Your relationship with your father doesn’t stop when he dies, it changes. Choosing a gift that you know he’d like is a good way to remember who he was. You could buy a book or some music that you know he would have enjoyed. If he was a gardener, buying a plant for your own garden can be a year-round reminder.
You could also buy a card and write him a message to say just how much you miss him. Write about how you’re doing or even your plans for the future, just as you would if he was still with you.
Spend Father’s Day your way
Whether you spend Father’s Day with friends and family sharing stories of your dad or on your own quietly reminiscing, it’s your choice. Don’t feel guilty if you’d rather avoid the day. Equally, don’t feel guilty if you find yourself enjoying time with people who understand your loss.
If the people around you are struggling to understand how you feel and it’s difficult to talk with them about your father, you can visit our list of Bereavement Support Organisations. There you’ll find options to speak to over the phone or online.
If you find coping with Father’s Day hard, it’s okay to step away. Come offline for a couple of days. Go for a walk or read a book. Do something for yourself. However you spend it, use the day to relax and remember in your own way.
