The way we talk about death and dying, historically something of a taboo, is ever-changing as we adapt the ways in which we celebrate and grieve the lives and deaths of those we love the most. As more people begin to discuss their plans for their own deaths more openly, funerals are beginning to change too. People are becoming as likely to choose a non-religious celebration of life or even an environmentally friendly funeral, as they are a traditional funeral service, reflecting their personal beliefs and passions.
Some people are even choosing to attend their own funerals in a trend for 'living funerals' - services held before someone actually passes away. Living funerals are usually held close to the end of a person's life. Some families are arranging them for a loved one suffering from a terminal illness, but while they are well enough to take part in the event honouring them.
A celebration of life
With funerals increasingly seen as a celebration of the life of the deceased, living funerals give a fresh perspective on these celebrations. They actually allow the person themselves to join the celebration and see the impact they have had as friends and family honour them. Traditionally funerals are a time to remember, give thanks and say goodbye. This is true of a living funeral, but it works both ways. Not only can family and friends celebrate the life of their loved one, but that person can thank and celebrate the people that made their life special. So, as much as a living funeral is a celebration of one person's life, it can also be a celebration for all that has been done for them over the years.
A worldwide trend
Living funerals started in Japan during the mid-nineties, where they are known as seizensō. It was born out of the feeling that many elders experienced; that they were burdening younger generations with their old age and only complicating matters with the stress of a classic funeral. Nowadays, living funerals remain popular in Japan but are also now common in the United States and are beginning to be seen in the United Kingdom. According to the Funeral Service Times, younger people are drawn to the idea of a living funeral with 53% of 18-24 year olds expressing an interest in one in a 2024 survey.
Helping say goodbye
Possibly the biggest benefit of a living funeral is that it gives family and friends a chance to say goodbye directly to their loved ones. With the person present, loved ones can express how they impacted their life and share all the happy memories they have.
It can often be hard on children to attend the funerals of elderly relatives but living funerals can help them cope with death and grief. At some, children are invited to create special gift bags or baskets full of photographs and other memories. This can help children to feel more involved in the process and can help ease the eventual impact of their death.
Speaking on the difference between a living funeral and a traditional funeral, celebrant Tim Maguire commented on the stark difference between a conventional funeral and a living funeral saying ‘it struck me how strange it is that we wait until someone has died before we say how much we love them.’ Following the same rules as normal funerals, living funerals do not have to be held in a traditional place of worship; they can be held anywhere that carries a special meaning to the funeral subject.
In all, living funerals are an interesting alternative to traditional funerals. They can help ease the grieving process for family and friends, allowing them to celebrate the life of and say goodbye to a loved one, whilst also allowing the person to hear just how their life has positively impacted the lives of many others.
